Crazy, Yet Intriguing
by SamaranKaori
Summary: A funny story about love, confusion, blackmail, and most of all, randomness. Disclaimers inside, there's alot of them. Please read, this story is hilarious.
1. Dreams and Reality

NOTE: This story has been fixed. It used to be called 'Do Not Read'.

Kaori: Hey everyone! It finally is STORY TIME!

Samara: Yep! Gather around kiddies! Well...teens. Since this is rated T, but everyone can read it too...

Kaori: Okay, let's just start the story!

Samara: WAIT! Here come the disclaimers! RUN!

**Disclaimers: We do not own Tokyo Mew Mew, or any other celebrity/movie/character in this story. Syio is owned by the makers of 'The Messedup Game of Truth or Dare', we have premission to use her though. In each story, we will name the things that we don't own, there's alot.**

**We don't own Mcdonalds, The pillsbury dough boy, or the song 'American Idiot' by Green Day.**

Chapter One: Dreams and Reality

Keiichiro was on the computer, typing up randomness furiously. Ryou walked down.

"Hey, I'm takin a shower, then I'm going to bed. See ya tomorrow," Ryou explained.

Everyday used to be the same. But lately Keiichiro began having strange dreams...

(cue corny dream sequence music and effects)

He was in a gingerbread house, and flying brownies would attack his neck. Then Ryou would come in wearing a grandmas wig, and announce "My spidey senses are tingling!" then burst to Keiichiros rescue. Just when Ryou have destroyed the last brownie, Keiichiro would notice he was wearing a dress.

"Ya know, grandmas wrinkle faster than prunes..." said Ryou, in a flirting manner to Keiichiro.

"You make no sense," complained Keiichiro.

"I know the gum will come off some day," re assured Ryou, placing a hand on Keiichiros shoulder.

"OH GOD it's the ghost of Christmas Past!" shrieked Ryou, who then leaped up and did a jiggy dance and the dream would end with Smokey exploding.

(end of dream)

Keiichiro would wake up crying at the death of Smokey. But for some strange reason, that sadness went away every morning when Ryou walked past in a bath towel. Keiichiro could not figure it out.

He heard the shower upstairs turn on.

Ryous voice from his dreams flowed into his mind..._I know the gum will come off some day..._it whispered. _My spidey senses are tingling!_

These voices drove him crazy and he jumped up from his seat. He marched up stairs, towards the bathroom.

"The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!" he chanted as he marched.

With each step closer to Ryou, the more nervous he got. Finally he got to the bathroom, and barged in on Ryou shaving his legs wearing a towl. He looked up and saw Keiichiro "Pervert!" he yelled, and slammed the door. Keiichiro sank into the corner.

_Why did I do that?_ he thought, _I don't like Ryou that way!..._

_...OH GOD it's the ghost of Christmas Past! _came Ryous voice from his mind again.

"AH!" Keiichiro yelled and sprung the door open. Ryou was flexing in front of the mirror.

"Um...I have to pee. Real bad. Yeah that's it." Keiichiro lied.

_Damn! _he thought, _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Ryou gladly left the room.

"You are some kinda freak," Ryou whispered in his ear. Keiichiro got chills as he left.

Keiichiro sighed and slammed the door. _GOD! What is wrong with me! _he thought.

He looked in the mirror. He put his hands on his face, but when he took them off he saw Ryou standing beside him in the mirror.

"Awesome dustbuster," the mirror Ryou said softly.

"I like ghost busters too," Keiichiro sighed, and fell asleep on the counter.

Ryou bursted in two hours later and saw Keiichiro sleeping like a tiny child.

"Oh well," said Ryou, "At least he's drooling into the sink,"

Thenk Keiichiro began to sleep-walk. He got up and smashed his head into a pole.

"God you're gonna kill yourself!" said Ryou.

"That would be nice..." Keiichiro mumbled in his sleep, "Can I have a large fry too?"

Ryou stared. "Are you on drugs again?"

"Coke please," was the reply from Keiichiro, "$20? Okay. Thank you McDonalds,"

"I give up," said Ryou. Ryou picked up Keiichiro in his arms. He headed to his room as he did, Keiichiro yelled "NOT MORE BROWNIES! NOT WITH NUTS! THE GUMMMM!"

"Wtf?" Ryou asked.

"Ryou..." Keiichiro said, still asleep. "...you killed the Pillsbury Dough Guy!"

Ryou decided to play along. "Yes. Yes I did." he said.

Keiichiro continused. "Finally! That stupid puff ball was really getting on my nerves!"

Ryou flopped Keiichiro on the bed. "Good riddance," he said, and left.

As soon as Keiichiro hit the bed, he woke up and screamed..."RYOU I LOVE YOU!" then slapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't wanna be an American Idiot!" Keiichiro started singing to cover up the mistake. Ryou came upstairs with a slurpee and said "My brain freeze covered up whatever you yelled the first time, but then you started singing and...oh heck just shut up already!" Keiichiro was relieved and stopped singing. _THAT was close..._he thought to himself. Ryou went downstairs and a few seconds later shouted "Why the hell is there toy soldiers in my coffee cup!" "I thought you didn't drink coffee." said Keiichiro. "You dult- it's for my mountain of sugar with a drop of water...I mean 'tea'" Ryou yelled in reponse.

Keiichiro rolled out of bed and rolled down the stairs yelling "AH RUGBURNS!"

"Ya know, I had the weirdest dream last night," began Ryou. Keiichiro stumbled to the kitchen table and sat to hear. Ryou continued "I was saving you from being attacked by brownies! Imagine that!"

"Uh, yeah..."

"So what did you dream about?

Keiichiro had an unexplainable urge. "YOU!" he yelped.

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Samara: WOO! end of chapter one!

Kaori: Yeah, and Kish and the aliens haven't even come in yet!

Samara: So keep reading!

Kaori: We'll update as soon as we can peeps!

Samara and Kaori: Buh byes!

R N R!


	2. The Memorable Night

Samara: Hey everyone! We are back!

Kaori: Whatever you say...

**Disclaimers: We already said we don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, so besides that, in this chapter, we don't own:**

**Gotham City, Disney (including everything from The Lion King and Mary Poppins and Bambi and Peter Pan), Jessica Simpson stuff, Vodka, Ken or anything from the Barbie line, and My Little Pony.**

Chapter Two: The Memorable Night

(FLASHBACK OF LAST CHAPTER: "So what did you dream about?" asked Ryou. "YOU!" Keiichiro yelped)

Ryou was taken aback. "No more after-midnight snacks for you, mister."

Keiichiro ran up to his room.

"Okay..." Ryou said, and went to find Syio. (we told you we took stuff from the messedup game of truth or dare)

Keiichiro was in his room sitting on his bed crying. In four hours, Ryou came back. Keiichiro heard the door open and ranout to greet him. The thing that surprised him was Ryou was...crying.

"I dropped a dictionary on my toe which made me fall over and I hit the knife shelf and all the knives flew out and stabbed a door-to-door insurance salesman so he ran away screaming and he tripped on an atom which split in half and blew up all of Gotham City!" Ryou whined.

Keiichiro stared.

"Oh and Syio broke up with me! But I'm not sad at all about that..." Ryou explained, still in tears.

"Oh Ryou, I'm sorry..." Keiichiro felt bad.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take a bath..." Ryou walked up the stairs.

"BAH! THE FEELING!" Keiichiro stifled a scream. For 10 minutes he fought the urge to go join Ryou but he just gave up and bursted in there.

Good thing Ryou had on head phones and was resting his eyes, half asleep within the bubbles.

"I want to see his six-pack abs..." Keiichiro said rather loudly.

Ryou still did not notice him, for he was listening to Mozart and that gets really boring.

Keiichiro began sifting through the bubbles to see the 6 pack. Ryou didn't even notice that Keiichiro took off his clothes and was now in the tub as well!

(wow that was fast) "Damn! How many bubbles are IN here?" Keiichiro said, annoyed.

Finally, 27 minutes and 18 seconds later, Keiichiro had gotten through the bubbles. He saw his blonde sleeping beauty, and the hot, wet, 6 pack abs!

"MUFFINS!" he screamed, nervously.

Ryou finally opened his eyes. "My dream come true!" he gasped. Syio teleported in and screamed, covering her eyes. "I'm scarred forever!" she yelled.

"Oh Ryou...THIS IS ALL MY FAULT! I'm sorry, I couldn't help-" Keiichiro was intterupted by Ryou. "It's fine. Like I said, my dream come true!"

"You..."

"I guess I'm sorta glad you decided to invade my privacy completely."

"Okay well I'm gonna leave before I puke a bathtub full," syio said, teleporting out.

"Ryou...I'd...I'd have dreams..."

"Tell me about them." Ryou said softly.

"The brownies...and the SPIDEY SENSES!"

"We're so connected!" gasped Ryou, and they started making out.

Syio teleported in again. "I forgot my- DEAR GOD!" she saw them and puked.

Suddenly, the bubbles from the tub flew up in the air and sang 'Can you feel the Love Tonight' very sweetly.

"Holy crap singing bubbles!" exclaimed Keiichiro. "This just keeps getting better and better!"

"But nothings impossible with the power of Disney!" Keiichiro gasped.

The disney character window stick-ons on the foggy window cheered.

"Well Disney doesn't have two wet guys in a bath tub makin out!" Ryou said, giving Keiichiro a big wet SMOOCH!

Syio still had her head in the sink, barfing up a storm.

"I lovers you." both guys agreed.

They took it to the room and Ryou pulled out some fish scented lotion!

"WTF! I bought cupcake scented from Jessica Simpsons desert line...thing...!" Ryou yelled.

Keiichiro grabbed the bottle. "It's fish cupcake! Here let me see the nutrition facts...cupcake 0.1...fish 99.99. Great."

Suddenly, garden gnomes burst in through the window and started licking up the lotion.

"Duh!" Ryou exclaimed "Garden gnomes are attracted to fish by-products! I totally forgot!"

"It's okay, I brought a bottle of tiger scented!" said Keiichiro, throwing knomes out and locking the window.

He opened the bottle and 'The Circle of Life' began to play out of no where.

"This was my favorite song as a child," Ryou remininced. "And still is,"

Then Ryou noticed Keiichiro was crying. "This song is so sad." Keiichiro sobbed.

"No, you're thinking of supercalafragalisticexpeealadotious," Ryou pointed out.

"Oh yeah," Keiichiro sniffed.

Just then KISH teleported in.

"Hi guys have you seen- WOAH!" Kish screamed his lungs out.

"Kinda busy Kish," said Ryou.

"No I just screamed as loud as I possibly could cause I haven't heard 'The Circle of Life' in like, EVER!" said Kish, dancing to the beat.

"Wow," said Keiichiro, "What a depressing childhood,"

"Yeah," responded Kish.

All three of them hugged, thinking of sad childhood moments.

"Remember the stampede in the Lion King? WAAAHH!"

"Remember Bambi? And how his mom died? WAHH!"

"I never saw Bambi..." mentioned Kish.

"NERD!" yelled Ryou and Keiichiro.

"WAHH!" Kish cryed and teleported out.

AT THE SHIP 

Yeah, so Kish came in crying...

Pie ran up to him. "What's wrong baby?"

Kish sniffed. "I got made fun of at school today," he said.

"Aw poor baby," Pie rocked him back and forth. "Would you like some hot cocoa?"

Kish wiped away a tear. "Yes..." he replied.

Tart stared in the background. "You guys are so RETARDED! I am so moving to Puddings house,"

He ran to his room, and in 1.2 seconds he was _so_ outta there.

"Well here's your cocoa! I added a special ingredient!" Pie came out of the kitchen.

"What?"

"You'll see..."

After 18 cups of 'cocoa', Kish was totally drunk.

"It was VODKA!"

"No, really" was the sarcastice response from Tart who had forgotten his super hero action figures and had came back to her them. "Well you girlies have fun," was his final remark, and he was off.

"Aw who needs that party pooped anyway?" whined Kish. "Straight guys are for circles!"

"Um, yeah." even Pie didn't get that one. "Anyway, we should so join Ryou and Keiichiro..."

"But they made me wet my eyeballs!" Kish screamed.

"So? SUCK IT UP!" Pie yelled. (wow, pie was nice earlier...)

"Fine! You just wait though...I WILL eat all of the peanut butter!" Kish shot back.

Pie raised his eyebrows quizically, then teleported to Ryous and Keiichiros, only to find them fighting over who was hotter, the chimney sweep from Mary Poppins, or Peter Pan.

"Well I think it's Peter Pan! He wears tights!"

"No, the chimney sweep gets down and dirtay!"

"For the first time in my life, I'm choosing to leave this place," said Pie, who teleported back to the ship.

He found Kish on the couch, munching on popcorn.

"I've been thinkin'-" began Kish.

"That's never a good thing." mentioned Pie.

"Well I have, and what should er do with Tarts room? He's at his girlfriends house now..."

"I need a place to stay," Ken (from barbie) popped in.

"Alright!" squealed Kish, leading Ken to his room.

"Can I get my 'My Little Pony' print wallpaper in here?" Ken asked.

Kish and Pie looked at eachother. This was the best day of their lives!

The spent the rest of the night painting ponies and drawing dainty dandelions.

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Kaori: There's the next chapter! Time for my sugar!

Samara: Last time I checked, Pudding and Tart stole the rest of our Sugar Cubes...

Kaori: Oh they are so GOING DOWN!

Samara: LET THIS BEGIN THE WAR OF THE SUGAR CUBES!

Kaori: But it's no fair that Tart can fly and Pudding is an insane monkey girl...

Samara: Yeah...

Kaori: Oh well let's go. grabs random weaponds

Kaori and Samara: See ya!

R N R!


	3. The Aftermath

Samara: Hey everyone! We're back!

Kaori: Yep! We're back in _action!_

Kaori: Let's just move on to the next chapter, shall we?

Samara: Alrighty!

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: Mr. Dressup and Phantom of the Opera. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. **

Chapter Three: The Aftermath

MORNING WITH RYOU AND KEIICHIRO

Ryou was first up.

"Ryou...what's-"

"Keiichiro, we can't do this...I can't believe...GOD!" he got up.

"The mews will be here any second. I can't believe we slept in! I gotta open the cafe," explained Ryou as he pulled on some clothes, and was out, leaving Keiichiro lost in a bed.

"WHERE'S THE EXIT! I'M LOST!"

CAFE ROOM

_Why? Why did I do that?_

Ryou couldn't believe it. HE. WAS. NOT. GAY. He just wasn-

Ichigo walked in.

"Oh yeah! You can't yell at me today! I AM THE FIRST ONE HERE BOO YA!"

"Sure...uh, yeah just get in your uniform."

"Oh okay..."

Ichigo slowly walked in the backroom thinking _Something is up. He usually insults me!_

Lettuce came in next, followed by Mint and Zakuro.

"Wonder where Pudding is..."

Pudding ran in, rambling on with sorries for being late, saying everything BUT why she had slept late...or was up late...

Keiichiro rolled downstairs. "AH! MORE RUGBURNS!"

"Something's wrong with Keiichiro today..."

"There's something wrong with Keiichiro everyday!" said Zakuro her usual sarcastic tone.

"This place has an upstairs?" Pudding asked. "No. Way."

"Pudding, you didn't know that Keiichiro and Ryou live together in the rooms upstairs?"

"Nope!"

"Yeah I've always wondered how long they've lived together..." commented Lettuce.

"I wonder if...NAH can't be!" said Mint.

Ryou busted in.

"RYOU! YOU SAY THIS IS OUR CHANGING ROOM AND YOU JUST BARGE IN! Good thing we're already dressed, but still!" Ichigo complained loudly.

"I just wanted to say that I didn't do ANYTHING with Keiichiro last night." Ryou said.

"We didn't think you did..."

"Just wanted to clear that up..." Ryou said again.

Everyone stared, confused. After a while, they shrugged and went back to talking.

"Well-"

Ryou barged in.

"GETTO WORK!"

"Ghetto work?"

"NO! Get. To. WORK!"

They all quickly ran out to the cafe, and got to work.

"Hey girls," Keiichiro greeted them. "Guess what me and Ryou did-"

Ryou clasped a hand over Keiichiros mouth, and whispered "Don't say a word," as the girls stared, even more confused.

Pie suddenly teleported in. (Somewhere in the story, we're missing a page and somehow the Phantom of the Opera comes in and Mr.Dressup)

"OMG I freakin love Mr.Dressup!" squealed Mint.

"Uh Mint, then maybe you shouldn't turn around..." mentioned Zakuro. Mint suddenly screamed.

"Too Late..."

"WTF! I was just joking!" said Ryou, frantically running over and squeezing the Phantom. "NO!"

"Look at my awesome toilet paper mask!" said the Phantom, posing.

"NO! RYOU!" screamed Keiichiro.

The girls stared. Well, all except Mint, who was flirting with Mr.Dressup.

"You can dress ME up any time!" said Mint.

"Hr...uh...erg..." Mr. Dressup spontainiously combusted with the Phantom. Mist burst into tears.

"Well that was strange." said Pudding, bouncing around.

Tart walked in. "God Pudding how long do you stay at the cafe?"

"OH DOES TAR TAR MISS ME?" she said running over to him.

"What...the...crap..." said Ichigo. "I didn't know they lived together."

"What's that?" asked Tart, pointing at the ashes of Mr.Dressup.

"You don't wanna know..."

"I'M GOING HOME TO MY TAR TAR!" Pudding jumped in Tarts arms and kissed him and he teleported them away.

Pie poofed in.

"STRAIGHT GUYS ARE FOR CIRCLES!" He kissed Keiichiro.

"Finally! Someone who speaks my language!" Keiichiro sighed happily.

Everyone around gasped/screamed/threw up. "Great. Another guy has gone to the gay side!" Zakuro threw up her hands in disgust.

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Kaori: That's it for now!

Samara: See ya on the next update!

Kaori: Oh and don't forget to leave a beautiful review!

Samara and Kaori: BYES!


	4. More Randomness

Samara: YES! New chappie.

Kaori: Yeps.

Samara: And schools almost out too! Which means even more chapters, since we have more time to type.

Kaori: Uh huh. Summer time is a-commin'!

Samara: On with the story then!

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: Casper, Wendy, Colonel Sanders, Uncle Toms Cabin, Mountain Dew, Chesire Cat and Alice in Wonderland, Elvis, Wonkas Factory, The movie Mean Girls, and Lucky Charms (including the leperchaun guy). And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. **

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Chapter Four: More Randomness

Ryou stood in the background, his cheeks turning red. _No! I can't let myself fall to the fate of Keiichiro! _He thought to himself. Ryou made a quick decision to save himself. "LETTUCE! I LOVE YOU!" he yelled akwardly, running up and grabbing her so tight she was losing consciousness.

"Um Ryou, maybe you should let Lettuce breathe now..." Mint pointed at Lettuces face that was turning blue.

"Oh," Ryou dropped her. The remaining people kinda glanced around for a few minutes (avoiding the horrible sight of Pie and Keiichiro making out in the corner) until Zakuro gave up and walked out. Lettuce lay gasping for air on the ground, and Mint went to swipe things from the elderly. Ryou was alone...sort of. He dragged Lettuce behind the corner (to hide her) and went to gently wash his beloved dishes. "Oh how I love thee, my darling dishes."

Kish bursted in. "Hey Pie! Ken is crying! He wants YOU!"

Pie took a break from his lip/tongue lock with Keiichiro. "OH KENNY-WENNY BABY!" Pie chanted as he teleported out, leaving Keiichiro lost. "AH! I CAN'T FIND THE EXIT AGAIN!"

"Maybe you should tone down your booze intake then," Casper the Ghost suggested. Wendy popped in as drunk as can be. "Thank you, Colonel Sanders," she mumbled, "I had a delightful time."

"Wow."

Ryou shot Wendy and Casper with a magic arrow and they disappeared. "Okay, let me get this straight," he began, "Ken is at the spaceship with Pie and Kish, Tart moved in with Pudding, Keiichiro loves Pie and I AM GAY!"

"Huh?"

"Just look at my shirts!" Ryou explained.

"Yeah those are pretty gay..."

"Well..."

Suddenly the computer screen started beeping. "ALIEN ALERT!"

"The computer is stupid. It didn't beep the whole time any of the aliens came in earlier."

"OH WELL!"

"I FOUND THE EXIT!" said Keiichiro.

"Keiichiro! HOW COULD YOU GO FOR PIE!" Ryou asked frantically.

"Oh...well...right before I kissed him, I had a dream about him and I couldn't help myself."

Kish came in again. "Where's Ichigo?"

"I'm right here..."

She popped out from behind a chair. Then Zakuro and Mint burst in with two wheel barrows full of cash. "We went elderly pick pocketing." Mint explained. "Old people are loaded!"

"I also bought a newspaper to line the birdcage of the bird I have that you don't know about but I haven't looked at the front page yet and now I will- HOLY CRAP!" Zakuro exclaimed. Slowly she looked up at Ryou. "You're..." she started. Ryou couldn't speak. Lettuce, who had recovered, grabbed the paper and glared at it. She burst out laughing. Between laughs and gasps, she managed to choke out "You...are...g-" (the 'g' seemed to last forever to him) "Great?" "YEAH RIGHT!" she fell to the floor, gasping for air, turning blue again in the process.

"SEXY TOPSEY!" screamed Pie after seeing a TV with Uncle Toms Cabin on it.

"FUMBLE!" yelled Ryou.

"Do not change the subject, young man." pointed out Ichigo.

"Ryou, what really happened last night?"

"Do you really think you wanna know?" pointed out Mint, who was counting money with Zakuro in a corner silently.

"Actually, yes, I would like to know. So tell us Ryou." Ichigo questioned.

Ryou swore his heart stopped, but there was no avoiding it now. "I...we-" he stuttered, then he got an idea "We- pulled an all nighter, ate pizza, and made fun of fat celebrities," he sputtered. Zakuro blinked. "And this is a big secret because...?" she asked. "Um, I gotta go...drink a silo of Mt. Dew to stay awake now," he lied, and then dashed out the door.

THAT NIGHT...

So everyone finally left, leaving Ryou (very hyper from the legendary Silo of Mt. Dew) and Keiichiro alone in the spooky basement of the Cafe.

"Why are we in the basement?"

"DUH! We're doing laundry and this is where the washer and dryer is!" explained Ryou, bouncing around.

"I hope I don't get lost again..." said Keiichiro.

Suddenly, the lights flickered off and glowing red eyes were seen in the far corner.

"Oh man," Keiichiro said. "I'm pretty sure I just wet my pants," said Ryou.

The eyes got closer. "I...can't...scream!" exclaimed Keiichiro.

Ryou tried, too. "Me either!"

The eyes began to have a spasm, shaking left and right. Then they heard faint singing...

IT WAS THE CHESHIRE CAT FROM ALICE IN WONDERLAND!

...well no, not really.

IT WAS ELVIS!

...nope. Actually, it really was...yep, you guessed it. PIE!

Pie leaped out of the shadows.

"Pie! Don't scare me like that!" said Ryou, tying a sweatshirt around his waist so that no one would see the wet spot.

"Well...do you guys have any bath beads? Or bath fizzies? OR BUBBLES?" Pie got stars in his eyes.

Ryou was hesitant, but Keiichiro was peppy, peppy, peppy. "Sure!" he piped up. "Me and Ryou were using them yesterday! We have some rainbow beads, popcorn salts, and the bubbles are pink, frilly, and they sing!" Keiichiros grin was wider than a preschoolers in the Wonka chocolate factory.

Pie got excited too. "Oh boy lets have a sleepover!" he suggested.

"Yeah!" Keiichiro cheered.

They both ran upstairs like teenage girls, leaving Ryou alone in the basement to ponder his feelings. And to wash his soiled pants. (Keiichiro took off his before he went upstairs)

Upstairs, the Mews walked in. Ryou walked up to them.

"Why the frick are you guys here?" he asked.

"Don't you remember Ryou? You promised we could have a slumber party over here tonight!" Ichigo reminded him, throwing her sleeping bag on the floor.

"Yes! This will be fun!" Pudding cheered, jumping up and down. "Besides, Tar Tar is busy stealing candy from Wonkas Factory so I needed a place to go."

"I still think it's weird that Tart's living with you," Ichigo gave her a glare.

SUDDENLY, they heard the stereo in the bathroom go on! And bubbles flooded down the stairs, as well.

"You have a stereo in your bathroom?" questioned Zakuro.

"Uh..."

The bubbles falling down the stairs began to sing the oh-so-popular "Can You Feel The Love Tonight".

"Maybe we better just go to my place..." Pudding said. The others agreed, but Zakuro interrupted.

"Ryou, is there something you're not telling us?"

"There's something upstairs not even Hitler should see," he said grimly.

"Well Ryou, you owe us a sleepover here cause your stupid bubbles pooped our party!" whined Ichigo as they left.

Ryou stood there, not knowing what to do. He loved...well, he wasn't sure who he loved and- oh screw it he wanted to have fun in the tub!

"I'VE GOT MY RUBBER DUCKY!" he yelled, dashing to the tub of water, bubbles, and gay men.

"Woah there Seabiscuit," Keiichiro stopped him. "This baby bath tub is way too small for 3 hot guys. Let me switch to uber-hot tub mode," He pressed a button and the tub began to vibrate. Then, with a final POP! the tub grew into a luxury, bubbling spa.

"OMG did you see Mean Girls?" said Pie.

"Yes! That girl was such a bee-otch!" replied Keiichiro.

Just then, Ichigo walked in. "Hey Ryou do you know where- AHH!"

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo stared, then said "Omg I so agree! I saw Mean Girls too!"

"WEE!"

"Oh well NO GIRLS ALLOWED!" yelled Pie.

"Ha! Then why are you girls in there?" was Tarts smart comment. "Where's Pudding?" he asked.

"At her house..."

"I SHOULDA THOUGHT OF THAT!" yelled Tart in frustration, then he teleported out.

"Weird..." was Ichigos remark to that. "Okay well I'm leaving your gay parade." Ichigo walked out.

Then Kish teleported In! "I'LL EAT YOUR BABIES!" he threatened, then dissipated into a burst of colorful glitter.

"If we weren't 3 guys sitting in a frilly hot tub, I'd think that was weird." Pie stated, matter-of-factly.

The others nodded in agreement. Suddenly, the theme song from Jaws started playing, and a sharks fin appeared in the tub.

"AHH!" the 3 gay-skateers screamed.

In a flash of bubbles and chlorine, the lucky charms guy popped out of the water, a sharks fin strapped to his head. "All ritey, which one a ya pansy childs stole me lucky charms?" he asked angrily.

Everyone pointed to Pie, including himself.

"To the clover patch with ya, fool!" he growled, and they proceeded to beating up Pie. Keiichiro and Ryou laughed. _This was the Life!_

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Kaori: Next chapter, coming up very soon.

Samara: Yep! Keep reading and reviewing, peoples!


	5. And You Thought It Was Over

Kaori: Told ya it was coming soon.

Samara: What was?

Kaori: The next chapter of this beautiful story o' course!

Samara: Oh yeah!

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: All Things Wise and Wonderful (we call it all things Wide and Wonderful), Harry Potter, Captian Zoom, Mafia, Disney (still), Cedar Point, The Wizard of Oz, or Oompa Loompas. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. WE DO, however, own Cousin Franky!**

Chapter Five: And you thought it was over

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AT ICHIGOS PLACE

After the whole spa incident, Ichigo called Zakuro to come over. Everyone else was busy.

2 minutes later Zakuro arrived with her super mega size blackmail file.

"Sweeeeet." Ichigo drooled.

When they were inside, Ichigo popped out the Mt. Dew and sugar cubes, and then they got to work on their plan to expose the truth that they had fatefully uncovered: Ryou was gay.

NEXT DAY

"Oh Ryou..." Ichigo called.

"What do you want?"

"A million bucks. Give it to me!"

"Ha! No way!"

"Maybe you'll see it my way if I say I'll show all the mews and aliens THESE (she pulled out a file) pictures if you don't meet all of my demands..."

Ryou whipped it out of her hand.

"Lemmie see those..." Pictures of him in the tub, bed, and- for some odd reason- riding a stallion butt naked.

_Thank you photo editor! _She thought to herself happily, even though most pictures were true.

"Heh, whoops looks like I lit this here photo album of yours on fire...accidentally," Ryou laughed evilly. Ichigo did a heroic dive for the pictures. The two fought, clawing and biting, till they were both gasping for breath on the floor. Zakuro walked in.

"Hey I just got back from making 250 million copies of our black mail- woah!"

"Zakuro...a little help?"

Ryou then notices the pile of black mail albums and pulled out a lighter and a gallon of gasoline and leaped at them.

"Noooooo!" Zakuro and Ichigo screamed in slow motion.

Zakuro quickly tackled him while Ichigo grabbed the gas and match and fed them to Lettuce, who was in the room absent-mindedly working on a childrens jigsaw puzzle.

Ryou broke down crying. "Is it really a crime to be gay?" he sobbed.

"No, but we can use it to our advantage!" said Zakuro with an evil grin.

"But Zakuro..." said Ichigo, feeling guilty. "We made him cry..."

"Oh SUCK IT UP!" yelled Zakuro. She sighed. "I'm gonna need another partner...who only likes one person who's not Ryou...someone good at breaking in places..."

Pudding did a flip in the door.

"PUDDING! Grab the blackmail stuff on the ground. Let's to my house, we've got planning to do-"

"But Tar Tar-"

"Bring him too...yes...perfect...MUHAHAHA!" Zakruo let out an evil laughed and Pudding tried to join her.

"Uh, hello, I'm right here...I heard what you said..." pointed out Ryou.

"Uh, BYE!" they left.

THAT NIGHT AT ZAKUROS

"Okay well first we gotta work on your evil laugh," Zakuro suggested. Pudding rolled her eyes but agreed.

Tart, who had arrived like some sort of an open-window maniac did his high-pitched just-plain-weird version of an evil laugh.

"Take that!" he said triumphantly. Pudding tried, to no avail.

"Just don't do any of your 'evil laughs' on a mission of we'll be sent to an insane asylum," Zakuro said, giving up.

"Okay anyway, we need to sneak into the cafe and get some more shots of Ryou doing gay/idiotic things." Zakuro flipped through her black mail folder. "I need more footage."

Tart was sharpening a knife. Pudding grinned. "I can hang from weird places!" she said, hanging from a random flag pole.

"Sweet. Now let's go."

"NOT SHARP ENOUGH!" yelled Tart. Zakuro growled, and went to read 'All things wide and wonderful' in the corner.

Tart finished obsessively sharpening his knife TWO FREAKIN HOURS LATER. His knife was so sharp it could decapitate a cow lickity-split.

"Oh Tar Tar I just love the way you obsess over how sharp your knife is," said Pudding. "Comon Zakuro let's get the goods!"

"BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO CEDRIC!" Zakuro whined.

Pudding rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows he dies in the fourth Harry Potter book."

"But I'm not-"

"And it's settled! We leave at once!" Pudding cheered.

Tart and Zakuro looked at each other. _Righhhhhttt_ they both seemed to think.

"Come now whipper snappers, times a wastin'!" Pudding jumped in front of them like a cheerleader.

The whole way Tart kept petting the side of his very sharp knife, muttering words to it.

Then they arrived.

"Okay, we need to open the doo-"

Before Zakuro could finish, Tart ran ahead and sliced the door into 3rds.

"That works too!" said Pudding, hugging Tart.

"PDA!" Mrs. Principal lady popped out and pointed at them, almost dropping her coffee in anger. Then 3's eyes were so wide it was un natural.

"Wow that's gay, we can't even hug," said Tart.

"NO HUGGING!" Mrs. Principal Lady screamed. Pudding and Tart kissed. "How about that?"

"Uh...er..." Mrs. Principal Lady flipped through a school rules book. "I guess that's...okay...DAMN!" she teleported back to the school to force more ridiculous rules on them.

"Wow that was weird," Zakuro stared blankly.

Ryou charged at them "HEY PIZZA NEEDS MORE SAUCE!" he uh...hollered?

"AH!" everyone screamed. Tart thought this was a good time to put his knife to use so he sliced off Ryous...tail.

"YOU FLIPPIN IDIOT YOU MISSED HIS HEAD!" Kaori, Ryous arch enemy screamed.

"Oh let me try again," Tart sliced off half of his head, and his blonde hair fell to the floor. Kaori was suffocating from laughter, Zakuro was taking pictures for her file, Tart was smiling with triumph, and Pudding was gagging at the sight of a blood spurting half-headed body, but then noticed he had a wallet in his pocket and happily grabbed it, counting her loot.

Keiichiro ran out in a bath towel. "Ryou!"

"Hide the body!" Zakuro yelled. "Oh I pretty much just gave it away by saying that..."

There was an akward silence.

"What are you talking about?" the real Ryou emerged from the shadows.

"DAMN!" Kaori yelled and stomped out.

"Ohh I wanna emerge from the shadows too!" said Lettuce, emerging from the shadows with hearts in her eyes. Mint burst though the roof in a Kim Possible outfit, inhaliated Lettuce and shot back up into the sky only to be gruesomely devoured by seagulls.

"Well...wegotoutblackmailletsgo!" they ran out.

The fake Ryou/stallion/cheetah/i don't even know, was spazzing out on the ground making the noise of a rabbit in a blender.

"What is that?" Ryou said pointing at the half-headed beast, who was now having a serious seizure and foaming at the mouth.

"It's your cousin Franky!" cheered Keiichiro, "He came for a visit."

"Uh, I don't remember him being a bloody pile of crap- wait, I DON'T HAVE A COUSIN FRANKY!" Ryou screamed as loud as humanly possible, and people on the other side of the solar system woke up because of his off-hey screech.

'Cousin Franky' got up, frustrated from Ryous un necessary scream, neighed, and flew off through the hole in the roof that Mint made earlier.

Ryou stared at the bloody foaming mess on the floor. "Where are those stupid Oompa Loompas?" he asked, frustrated that they were late. Suddenly, 'Ding Dong The Witch is Dead' started to play and happy munchkins cam in and started cleaning. One of the midgets looked up at him and said "Sorry sir, The Oompas just paged us and asked us to fill in for them because they're busy in a gang stand off." The munchkins squeaky voice echoed in the rafters.

"Munchkins..." Ryou mumbled. "Actually, we're Leprechauns!" Irish bag pipe music began to play and they did a jig.

"NOOOOOOO!" Keiichiro screamed and crashed through the window. Ryou collapsed on the floor in laughter, but then giggles turned into snores...

...but the munchkins kept dancing and jigging. Ryou gasped in horror when he couldn't sleep anymore at the sight of leprechauns STILL jigging. Finally, on day 5, he called the national guard to come exterminate the jigging beasts.

So they had to move to Disney World because the battle between Leprechaun and National Guard didn't end for a while.

DISNEY WORLD

Everything was in flames and ridden with bullet holes. The ground trampled from tiny dancing feet. Bodies of every kind lettered the ground. A black mouse with freakishly big ears lay rotting in a ride cart. "Wow this place has gone to the Mafia."

Just then, 'Cousin Franky' flew across the sky, announcing "MZRATGIZNIT!" which meant "You suck kiddie rides!"

"AMEN TO THAT!" Cedar Point fans from all over the world cheered. This caused an anti-disney rally to form in Indiana. Many old men were disappointed when the invites said BYOB though.

So Ryou and Keiichiro returned to their cafe, which was a little beat up.

WITH ZAKURO, PUDDING, AND TART

"Oh sweet blackmail heaven!" Zakuro buried her face in photos of 'Cousin Franky', which she would tell everyone was really Ryou, though only the face and hair resembled him at all.

Tart was still obsessing over re-sharpening his knife, and Pudding was getting mad that he wasn't obsessing over her.

"Let's get some sugar!" she suggested, trying to get his attention.

"Busy, knife," was the response.

"Let's laugh at old people,"

"Sharpening."

"Let's go upstairs,"

"My precious..." he started. Pudding held her breath. "...knife." he finished.

Pudding slapped him. Zakuro laughed, recording the action.

"You think you're so cool with your one little knife!" Pudding said, "Well I got a sickle, and two knives!" she pulled them out. "And I sharpened them for a week straight!" the shining blades mesmerized Tart.

"Pretty..." Tart said, traced-like.

"Why do you have a sickle?" asked Zakuro.

"So I like to grow wheat, okay!" she responded offendedly. Quick as a whip Pudding hid her knives, sickle, and Tart's knife so that he fell into some sort of manic depression. He crawled up to her in knife-withdrawal.

"Hug me..." he moaned.

"Now that's more like it!" Pudding beamed.

Zakuro laughed at the sight of them. But then Tart accidentally knocked Pudding over from crawling all over her. She hugged him. "This is the lif- zzzzz" They both instantly fell asleep.

Zakuro whipped out a gallon of coffee and rolled over (on a rolly chair) to the computer. "Nothing like editting a few pictures and making another blackmail album at 4 in the morning!" she gulped her coffee, and went to work.

MORNING

Buster the kitten was sleeping on Zakuros lap. "You have a horrible name," she told it.

Tart mumbled in his sleep. "Well those aren't your Sunday clothes, blood on your nose, and cow shit in your ear."

"Hey! That's from 'All Things Wide and Wonderful!'" Zakuro pointed out.

"Still roundin up them sheep," Pudding mumbled back.

The former Buster (Zakuro had re named him Captain Zoom) jumped, claws out, on Pudding and Tart, as if he was saying "Wake up you dolts, there's work to do!"

"WAH!" they both woke up immediately and got bandages for the scratches. "Stupid cat..."

Just then, James Harriot came in "DON'T CALL HIM STUPID, MATE!"

"You're Australian?" asked Zakuro.

"Well no...I JUST WANTED TO BE COOL, OKAY!" he cried.

"Yeah maybe we better leave..." suggested Pudding. The others agreed and went to swipe jelly packets from IHOP.

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Kaori: I predict the next chapter will be up extremely soon...

Samara: Yeah, me too.

Kaori: DONT STEAL MY PREDICTIONS!

Samara: I wasn't, I was agreeing.

Kaori: Oh well...then...alright...


	6. Drama Time!

Samara: Yep! You were right.

Kaori: I knew it...

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: Monopoly, Dora The Explorer, Abraham Lincoln, Ghostbusters, Scooby Doo, the song 'Roses Are Red' by Aqua, Robin (or anything else from 'Batman'), Grandpa Joe (or anything else from Willy Wonka), Mozart, Michael Jackson. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. WE DONT OWN ANYTHING PEOPLE!**

Chapter Six: Drama Time!

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CAFE

Ryou moon walked out on a stage. He was wearing ...uh...an umbrella? Sure, that sounds random enough.

Keiichiro walked out with the monopoly guy in his arms. "My Baby!" he screamed. "We may as well call you Pie 2, it's sure as hell shorter than 'Keiichiro'." Umbrella man said, hands on his hips.

The monopoly guy started to have a heart attack, and with 2.73 minutes, he was dead.

Keiichiro wailed, "I'll never forget his last words: 'That elephant ate my Lamborghini!'"

"Well he like 8 billion years old." Ryou pointed out.

"BUT HE NEVER ATE MY YAMMMMS!" Keiichiro whined.

"Oh suck it up! We got a bigger problem. Zakuro and those two Love Muffins are blackmailing us!"

"I love muffins," Keiichiro sighed. Ryou stared.

"Can I light you on fire?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Anytime," he responded.

"Actually, before that, let's go on a mission to steal the blackmail!" Ryou said, ripping off his umbrella to reveal a Speedo, which made Kaori scream in disgust across the world. Samara was still laughing over Ryou calling Pudding and Tart 'love muffins'.

"That's a piffle in an ocean of buttercups," some English guy pointed out.

Keiichiro came out in a black uniform. "TIME TO SWIPE!" they jumped into action...

Zakuro, and Love Muffins

They were watching 'Dora The Explorer Goes Porn', and just after they told 'Humper No Humping!', they heard a crash upstairs.

"Holy heat waves, batman!" yelled Robin.

Pudding looked up at Robin. "Wow, you're almost as ugly as Pie!" she yelled.

"Just because I wear tights and my underwear on the outside, doesn't mean- JUMPING JAGUARS BATMAN!"

"Why do you keep yelling Batman? He's not here!"

"And what's with these gay phrases, JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!"

"That's it! You're deleted!" Zakuro pushed a button, and he went away.

Right then, Ryou and Keiichiro rolled down the stairs. "AH! RUGBURNS ON RUGBURNS ON RUGBURNS!" Keiichiro screamed, still not getting the point that rug. burns.

"Well you just blew out cover," Ryou complained.

Pudding whipped out her sickle. Zakuro took out a gun. Tart was dazed by the sickle again. Captian Zoom pulled out a tazer. Keiichiro laughed at the thought of a kitten with a weapon. Zoom tazed him, resulting in severe brain damage...which he already had anyway. Then Ryou pulled out a wrecking ball with spikes on the end! OH NO!

For some strange reason, he did not notice one of the spikes had gone straight through his leg. When he tried to throw it, he only tripped himself, landing on the wrecking ball and getting stabbed some more.

So he pulled a sledge hammer from his back pocket.

"Although I am currently stuck to a ball of terror and pain, I will continue to smash the living daylights out of your blackmail file proving that I'm gay. Which I'm...not." he said weakly.

"You suck at lying, " Zakuro said flatly, snapping a picture of him basically beating the living crap out of himself.

Pudding was holding the sickle up to Keiichiros neck and he was pinned to a wall.

"Any last words, little dutch boy?" she asked.

"Pudding...y-you wouldn't kill me, would you?"

"Damn straight I would, lil man-woman." she said angrily. The others gasped.

"Not if I get to it first!" Tart screamed lunging, knives in hand.

The 'Love Muffins' cut Keiichiro up into tiny squares, and sent him off to be made into cheese cubes.

"Wow. Those Love Muffins are violent!" said Ryou.

Pudding and Tart gasped. This was the first time they heard someone actually call them Love Muffins.

"Okay, here's the rules on the Love Muffin thing: We can only call each other that. NO ONE ELSE!" Tart explained.

"And ya know what the consequence is...?" Pudding said, arming her sickle behind her back.

"No I don't, do tell me." Ryou actually said innocently. An evil grin spread across their faces and in one quick motion they sliced Ryou up into beef jerky bits and shipped him off.

"Well there goes our blackmail plan...hm...Lettuce has yet to be blackmailed..." Zakuro let out an evil laugh.

Pudding was polishing her sickle, Tart was once again dazed, and Oompa Loompas were cleaning up the blood stains.

LETTUCES HOUSE

Lettuce was home alone singing 'Roses Are Red' in her very own opera version. She was typing up a school report...right when the BMS (black mail squad) jumped in the scene!

"Boy am I glad we're not called the Pink Mail Squad!" Pudding laughed. It took a few minutes, but when Tart finally got it they had to use chloroform on him he was laughing so loud.

"Woah, it wasn't that funny," said Lettuce, still in opera voice.

"SHUT UP YES IT WAS!" yelled the love muffins. Then Lettuce went to the bathroom. " Don't bother MEEEE!" she sang.

The BMS looked at each other with sly smiles. Zakuro threw gasoline at the door and Tart lit a match. Pudding sang "Triumph by fire..." Tart threw the match and they ran away. Zakuro counted down. "3...2...1!"

**BOOM!**

They ran into the bathroom (or what was left of it) and saw Lettuce eating soap. "No! Please don't tell Ryou! I love him!" she sang.

Zakuro was already busy snapping pictures.

"Wait a minute!" Pudding thought. "What does Lettuce have that we want?"

"The code to get into the legendary land of candy!" Zakuro shouted.

"Duh," Tart rolled his eyes.

"Okay, we got our blackmail," said Zakuro. They left Lettuce and her soap ALONE.

BACK AT ZAKUROS PLACE...

"I don't think I'll ever look at soap the same," Pudding gagged when they later gathered to go over the days events.

"Okay, copy and paste time!" Zakuro furiously went to google and searched for Abraham Lincoln. "MUHAHA!" Zakuro laughed.

"Woah. That coffee has definitely done something to her brain," Tart whispered to Pudding and she nodded.

"Let's check out sales of the Ryou beef sticks and Keiichiro cheese cubes," they skipped off to a laptop.

Just then the TV turned on with an important news flash. "It seems that a rash of child poisonings are spreading through random countries," it announced. "Those who survive turn cannibalistic. Scientists are suggesting it's the jerky and cheese cubes recently shipped in. Their origin is being investigated."

Tart and Pudding looked at each other. "Uh...let's just ignore that...heh heh..." They turned off the TV.

Just then, the ghost of Ryou and Keiichiro came down the chimney!

"Ho ho ho I'm Santa Claus!" Keiichiros ghost boomed. Ryou's ghost slapped him "We're not supposed to be seen, idiot,"

"Oh. Okay well WE'RE NOT HERE, OKAY!" Keiichiros ghost screamed.

"I specialize in ghost exterminating," Pudding grinned, looking at them, grabbing her sickle.

"GAH SICKLES!" both ghosts yelled in terror. "I never did like wheat..." Keiichiros ghost muttered.

Suddenly the ghost busters song started to play and a Scooby doo type chase broke out.

Tart was singing the ghost buster theme. Pudding was on a sickle rampage. The ghosts ran.

Suddenly, Ryous ghost tripped and Pudding cut him up into a million ghost-bits. Keiichiros ghost managed to jump out the window, even though he could walk through walls.

"Damn ghosts..." said Pudding.

Tart was still singing. "You can stop now Tart."

"STOP!"

"Oh okay," he said, embarrassed.

Suddenly Mozart started to play and Pudding and Tart plopped over asleep. Zakuro didn't hear it because she shoved q-tips in her ears to shut out Tarts horrible singing.

MORNING

Zakuro had huge bags under her eyes, for she was up all night working. "GET UP YOU MUFFIN BERRIES!" she yelled, half asleep.

"Oh I love your muffin berries, dear grandmother!" mumbled Pudding, still asleep.

"I second that motion. Let's raise a cheer for the Moose foundation!" Tart groaned, also still sound asleep.

"What is up with you guys and saying random things as you sleep?" Zakuro asked.

"Thank you, Algernon!" Pudding pointed.

"Sure I'll eat those cream puffs, if you put chocolate on the sprinkle ma bob," said Tart.

The random quotes just kept coming:

"Michael Jackson at your window!"

"Woah I think my cancer is eating itself!"

"I swear that fluffy bunny had a ray gun."

"I secretly eat my poop and watch gay children shows."

"I'm addicted to gambling."

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE BATMAN!" That time, it was really Robin who flew though the window and kept pouncing on them till they finally woke up.

"ROBIN! BATMAN IS DEAD! GET IT TOGETHER, BOY!" Grandpa Joe yelled.

"What the hell?" Zakuro asked.

"Ooh I'll take him on," said Tart.

"Hey! I'm the one with the sickle!" complained Pudding.

"There's more of enough of me for two love muffins!" Grandpa Joe said.

GASP!

"OH IT'S ON NOW!" They pounced on him and sliced him into soy tofu.

"That was so easy it was disappointing," said Tart angrily. Pudding agreed and they blasted off into space to fight purple space monkeys.

"There go my ninja children!" cried Zakuro.

Then a note fell from the sky saying:

_Zakuro, _

_We'll be back to get the code for the candy land place. Call if you need up sooner._

_-P and T_

Zakruo scribbled a note to reply on a napkin and threw it into the sky for Pelly the magic Giraffe to delivered. I said:

_P and T, _

_Take your time, monkeys are ugly anyway. I'll be practicing my arrowism while you're gone. There's leftover macaroni in the fridge. _

_-Zakuro_

Zakuro went off, so let's visit Mint now, shall we?

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Samara: I bet you never would have guessed that Pudding and Tart were assassins.

Kaori: That was a real shocker.

Samara: Anyway, next chapter will be up really soon again. Look for it.


	7. Love Muffins

Kaori: Next chappie.

Samara: Yay! Let's get to it.

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: Spongebob, Muppets, Cantina Band. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. **

Chapter Seven: Love Muffins

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MINTS HOUSE

Mint was practicing her scared face in the mirror for no apparent reason what-so-ever.

SUDDENLY, a team of angry carnies burst into the house and stole her nice things and left her duct taped to the ceiling!

"DARNIT!" cursed Mint.

Zakuro walked in. "Mint wtf happened?"

Tears sprung up in her eyes. "I got attacked by carnies!" she wailed.

Zakuro blinked, then burst out laughing. "That's...so...pathetic!"

"I know! Loser!" insulted Pudding, who flew though the window.

"You got no skills." Tart smashed through the window "I'M THE OPEN WINDOW MANIAC!" he said again.

"Enough with that already!" everybody yelled.

"Fine!" Tart snapped. "I can see I'm not appreciated here!"

"Yesh you are..." said Pudding.

"No he's not!" Zakuro said, disgusted.

"I JUST WANNA GET DOWN FROM HERE!" Mint yelled.

"Hold your horses, cornball hair! We're having a discussion here!" Zakuro yelled upward.

Zakuro, Pudding, and Tart started arguing.

"He's annoying!"

"He has sweet knife skills!"

"So do you!"

"You know I'm a sexy beast!"

"Oh please! His ears are as big as his hair!"

"They are? I never noticed..." Pudding walked over and measured them both. "They almost are..."

"Uh..." was Tarts reply.

"Only nerds have sickly white skin, show midriff, and have hair as big as their ears!" Zakuro said.

"I think it's sexy..." Pudding said.

"THEN YOU'RE A FREAK TOO!" Zakuro yelled. "Gah! Mid-life crisis!" Zakuro jumped out the window.

Suddenly the muppets came up from the floor and started to play 'Cantina Band'. Mint tapped to the beat on the ceiling and Tart and Pudding joined the jam session...

Until the sun came up the next day. That's when they got sick of the song, because the muppets never stopped playing! Pudding sickled them all to fuzzy little bits.

"Mmm...I love muppets bits cereal." chewed Tart.

Mint was snoring, still on the ceiling, and Pudding was sleeping on the fur pile left from the nights events.

"Woo!" screamed Pudding. "Let's do a FAST FORWARD!"

"Okay!" Tart agreed.

_**Fast Forward 10 Years!**_

"Wow we're old!" Pudding said.

"Yet I still wear pig tails..." Tart said.

Just then, 5 little kids ran in.

"What the...who are you!" Tart asked.

"MOMMY! DADDY!"

"You're our...children?"

"Yeah!"

"Wow."

They looked up and Mint was old and STILL stuck to the ceiling.

"Well now we know we won't have to worry about taking her down. " said Tart.

"You're such a silly pickle!" the smallest one, a girl said.

"Aww! That's so cute!" Pudding yelped.

"Augh the college bills..." moaned Tart.

"It is so your fault we had 5 kids," said Pudding.

"Yeah right!"

"Oh well, they're cute, except for that one," Tart pointed.

"Hey!" the fat, chubby boy yelled. "I'm Mints kid!"

Pudding and Tarts eyes grew wide. "WOOOAAAHH!"

"How did that happen if she was stuck to the ceiling...only someone who could fly...EW!"

Then they noticed the chub kid had a Jamaica thing! (pies dreadlock thingy)

"NOO!"

"How will we ever support our children?" Pudding worried.

"Let's go back to our 11 year old selves, and win the lottery!" Tart suggested.

"Money! Money!" their kids cheered.

"SHUTUP!" Pudding and Tart yelled.

"WAHH!" the kids cried and ran upstairs.

They went back to their 11 year old selves.

"Well, now that we know our future we might as well start saving." Pudding shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm afraid to look at 20 years from now." Tart shivered.

"I'm curious now!" Pudding warped her and Tart to 20 years plus.

_**Fast forward 20 years!**_

They were in a room with 7 babies, all the same age, crying. The girl who had called her a silly pickle 10 years earlier, now 14, came in.

"Nice work with the septuplets, mom." she said sarcastically. "Will you please shut them up?" she left.

Tart grabbed Puddings hand and they went back to the present time, (their 11 year old selves) terrified.

"Oh man!" Tart cried. "We're doomed!"

Pudding sighed. "They were cute, though."

Zakuro walked in. "Well I'm over my mid-life crisis now and I have all these extra lottery tickets, so here ya go." she threw a bunch of scratch cards at them.

They began scratching furiously. "For the kids!" they said.

"What kids?" Zakuro asked. "Oh yeah I saw your future in my crystal ball. You guys are nuts."

"Oh well there's nothing we can do about it!" Tart said.

Zakuro laughed, and left.

"We should start naming them now so it won't take long later." Pudding said.

"How many boys and girls were there?" Tart asked, trying to remember.

"I don't remember...but we can name that silly pickle girl."

"How about, all the girls are Pudding Jr., and all the boys are Tart Jr.. And one can be named Michelle, just cause." Tart said.

"Okay sounds good."

Zakuro had walked back in for a sec to get her...numchucks and heard their plans for names. "Sheesh you guys suck at naming." she said. "Pudding junior? That makes it sound like they're bi." Pudding frowned and Zakuro continued. "Well in case you were wondering, by the time you're 35 you will have 27 girls and 2 boys." she left.

"Holy!"

"Darn it! How come it's always the guys that are the minority?" Tart crossed his arms.

"Okay well we'll name the pickle girl Michelle because she's strange and Michelle's are usually strange." Pudding said. Then she started to list girls names. "Uh...Kaori, Samara (tee hee!), Michelle..."

"Peter Pan!" interrupted Tart.

"WOAH you have issues!" said Mint from the ceiling.

"If you think about it, having 29 kids is kinda strange..." said Tart.

"AND PAINFUL FOR ME!" Pudding just realized and slapped Tart.

"Hey!"

"Well you guys obviously like it," said Mint, laughing.

"Huh?"

"I ain't explaining it!"

"BUT I WILL!" Pie burst in.

"Nooo!" Mint screamed in...pain?

Then Michelle magically popped in, screamed "Fish fry on Thursday!" and stabbed Pie to death with a yellow crayon.

"Yay!" everyone cheered.

"Okay back to the lottery," Pudding and Tart kept scratching.

"You guys will never win," Zakuro mocked.

"OMG!" Pudding said. "What about the baby shower!"

"Hello? We gotta get married first!" Tart said.

"Then I need a bachlorette party!" Pudding jumped up.

"ENOUGH WITH THE EXPENSES!" yelled Tart, running away.

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Samara: Ahahaha I can't wait till the next chapter.

Kaori: It's coming up soon!

Samara: Yay!


	8. Parties!

Kaori: Next chapter, right here.

Samara: Oh yes.

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire', Regis Philban. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. Also, the real people in this are our friends, we have permission to use them!**

Chapter Eight: Parties!

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BACHLORETTE PARTY

"So why are we here again?" Ichigo asked.

"Well when we went to Mints house me and Tart did a fast forward and saw we had 5 kids then we went 20 years ahead and we had even more and Zakuro said that when we're 35 we'll have 29 kids so we named them and then we noticed we gotta have a baby shower but before that we gotta get married but even before that I gotta have a BACHELORETTE PARTY!"

"Wow." was the response from everyone.

"Isn't your bacholorette party supposed to be the night before your wedding?" asked Mint-of-the-ceiling.

Puddings eyes grew wide "OH BOY!"

Everyone shook their heads in pity. "She's a lost case..."

Pudding picked up a phone. "Tart, get over here and propose to me." Before she even heard an answer, she hung up with a smile. "He'll be here any second."

Exsactly any seconds later, Tart showed up. "Um, I had to get a ring out of a gumball machine, I hope you don't mind..."

"Did you keep the gum?"

"Yeah."

"Okay good. NOW EVERYONE WATCH THIS HISTORICAL MOMENT IN MY RELATIONSHIP! GET A CAMERA!" Pudding ordered. "On your knees, Tar Tar!" she pointed.

"Poor Tart. I hope he likes following demands."

"No we just need to hurry this up so he can leave and I can PAR-TAY!" Pudding yelled. "Now propose to me."

"I pledge allegiance to the flag..." he started.

"WHAT THE!"

"Oh uh...heh...sorry. Will you marry me Pudding?"

"Yes!" she yelped.

Just then, balloons popped out of the ceiling and the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' music played. Regis came out of a hole in the floor. "Betcha didn't know I'm a registered matrimonyist." he winked. Ichigo and Lettuce pushed Pudding and Tart up to an alter that magically appeared.

"But my bachlorette party! My wedding is supposed to be tomorrow!" Pudding complained.

"Is that your final answer?" Regis asked.

"Uh...yes...?"

"Okay let me do my hair." Regis left.

The balloons disappeared. "No fair! I want a party!" Tart said.

"Then go have a bachelor party," said Zakuro.

"Uh...okay." he left.

LATER ON...

Mint-of-the-ceiling yelled "LETTUCE! LAY OFF THOSE BROWNIES!"

"This is my last night being...not...married," Pudding cheered.

"LET'S GO BAR HOPPING!" Ichigo screamed.

"We're under age..."

"No...juice bar hopping!"

"Okay!"

They left, and Mint struggled to get down, and failed.

BACHELOR PARTY

Someone had accidentally turned on Mozart so all the guys were passed out on the floor. It was pretty sad.

RANDOM JUICE BAR

"POPSICLES!" screamed Ichigo in joy. "Woot!"

All of a sudden, Puddings dad came in. "PUDDING! I missed you while I was in gay-ville."

"Oh...uh hi dad."

"Justin is a Fag!"

"Woah random insults!"

"Nicole is cheating on John for Kevin/Ken!"

"That is so morally wrong!"

"SHUTUP GUYS!" Pudding had had enough.

"But we're being random for your bachelorette party, Pudding!"

"Bachelorette party!" her dad exclaimed. "Let me get my dress!" he squealed and dashed away.

"Woah how did he become a dad?" asked Zakuro.

"I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure he's bi."

"Yeah, I hate him." Pudding said. "Well, it's 4 am, wanna go home?"

"Sure"

When they got there, Regis was riding a carousel in the middle of the room, looking extremely faggotic today.

"Those words are totally pimpish, yo." Mint-of-the-ceiling mumbled, being repeatedly struck by the carosel.

Then Kaoris brother came in. "Pudding!" he yelled.

"Sorry dude I'm already taken!" she did a flip, then fell asleep cause it was really late and she had a wedding tomorrow!

TART

The Mozart tape finally ended, and everyone woke up.

"Ya know, I wanna get married now..." said Kish.

"Why?"

"I'm jealous now..."

"The only thing I'm gonna get from marriage is a bunch of whiny kids," whined Tart.

"Just like you!"

"Shut up!"

"You know, you could get married later, why are you doing it now?" asked Kish.

"Well...uh...I dunno. Isn't it fun?"

"No! Everyone knows that weddings are long, boring, and full of crying old ladies."

"But there's cocktails at the end!" Pie cheered.

"And fireworks!"

"I hope my house doesn't get burned down..." Pie thought.

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Samara: Wow. That's all we got for now.

Kaori: We gotta write more.

Samara: Yep. See ya when we think of what will happen next! DONT FORGET TO R n R!


	9. Happily Ever After, Right!

Samara: The last chapter...is here.

Kaori: This story was great. I loved it.

Samara: Me too. For everyone who read, we love you, too!

Kaori: On with the ending...

**Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: FBI. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. But we do own the love song, and the green book:)**

Chapter Eight: Happily Ever After, Right!

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Then an angel flew down from the sky. "But the most important thing of marriage is-"

"Money?" Pie guessed.

"No you idiot!" the angel yelled. "LOVE!"

Tart raised an eyebrow. "Love?"

"What's that?"

The angel smacked it's forehead. "Okay, since I'm an angel that means I have to explain it to you in song, and this is gonna be painful so you better appreciate it!"

Ahem...

_Love...is the feeling you get when you're around someone you love.._

_...and they make you almost pee your pants because of their total hotness...or ugliness i guess..._

_BUT this song is about LOVE! And it's when you can't help but think about them in your dreams! They haunt you..._

_...but they want to kiss you..._

_...so you decide to kill them in your sleep!_

_But you can't...cause you love them..._

_...and in the end you have over 20 children because of LOVE!_

The End.

"So does that song apply to you?" the angel asked.

"Sure..." Tart answered. He knew he already loved Pudding, but the song just creeped him out.

"Well then I'm on my way!" The angel blasted into space.

"Wow that angels crappy singing made Mozart sound GOOD!"

"Did that song even have a message?"

"Who knows."

"Hey can you guys give me lots of money to support my children?" Tart piped in.

"What children?"

"The ones I saw in my life when I fast forwarded 10-20 years."

"How many?"

"Uh...29..."

"HOLY CRAP!"

"I feel bad for Pudding. You're so mean Tart!" Pie said.

"Wtf!"

"She's the one who has to give birth to them all!"

"AND THERE'S SEPTUPLETS!" Tart burst out crying.

The others gasped in horror. "That's like, SEVEN CHILDREN!" Pie gasped again.

"No duh sherlock."

"I never knew you were such an animal Tart." said Kish, laughing his head off.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Tart yelled.

Another angel came in. "I'm here to teach you about-"

"NO!" everyone screamed, afraid what she was going to say next.

"Don't worry, he'll understand soon enough, since he'll have 5 children by the time he's 21..." Kish mentioned.

"Understand what?"

"NOTHING...heh."

"Sleep!" they pushed his face in a pillow.

"Uh oh you guys..." Kish paused. "I just noticed something..."

"What?" they were all dying to hear.

Kish's lips wavered. "THIS IS THE END OF THE GREEN BOOK!" he wailed.

"He's right," pointed out Tart. "There's only one page left..."

"We better hurry this up then!" Samara popped out.

The marraige was full of randomness and cocktails and Regis. Then they went on a honeymoon which lasted 10 years and came back with 5 kids.

They ended up winning 6 lotteries in a row and supporting their insane children.

Zakuro became an FBI agent for her blackmail skills.

THE END

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Kaori: Yes, that was it.

Samara: Thank you all for reading! Please still leave a review on your way out!

Kaori: But for now...

Samara and Kaori: BYE!


End file.
